Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Impending Deadline of An Art Show

I have an April 2nd deadline coming up for entering work into the MATA Spring Membership exhibit. So here I am on March 9th with not even a glimmer of an idea what I will create. Each night I come home from school around 5:00 and crash on the couch and watch back to back Bones episodes and just stare. I am the ultimate definition of a couch potato.

I could blame this melancholy and lethargy on winter or the budget crisis or my job, but the truth is that I am being just purely lazy. I know that some of it is exhaustion, but as I proved when pursuing a Masters degree in art a few years back there is so much more time in your schedule than you realize. Staying up late to make art is rewarding. Turning the TV off allows one to paint or draw or knit or dream or read. I know this, like I know a lower fat diet and fruits and veggies and exercise are good for me, yet I make poor choices. Claiming to be too, tired. The truth is that many nights as I stare at the TV I fall asleep and wake up an hour later with contact lens crusted to my eyes and the feeling I forgot to do something. Then I go to bed and get up and do it all over again.

So where does the spark, the initiative to make art after the 9-10 hour work day giving your heart and soul to your students come from? How do you avoid being a couch potato? I used to go exercise after school and it made me feel more energetic, but it also meant I got home a lot later and got started on my free time even later. How do you find the energy, the creativity to CREATE.

I know it is discipline, drive, will power... I seem to lack all of these right now. The budget crisis and attack on teachers hasn't helped I know that. The conversation has been so demoralizing and negative. I have really begun to wonder if what I do really matters. It has been hard to say the least.

I think I need to make a loose, expressionistic painting that is therapeutic, non-judgmental and perhaps just for me, not for the art competition. What would be the worse thing that happens? I feel better and make some art. Now where are my canvas and paints?

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